she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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