lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
