just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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