If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
