...so i touched it.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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