At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
