I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
