Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
