I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
