1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You need Xanax blowdarts
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
