It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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