I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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