We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
