I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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