Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
thus making me awesome and them whores
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize