so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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