i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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