i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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