we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im holly from the hills drunk
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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