we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
