Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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