its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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