Taylor Swift is so right about you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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