I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
