You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize