There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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