I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
