there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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