do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
