She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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