Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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