I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
