I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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