that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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