At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
