i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
