He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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