whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
