he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
People in love make me want to vomit
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
