I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
