he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
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I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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