I am in a vortex of obligation.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
