a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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