Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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