and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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