Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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