apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
