Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
