...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
