Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
