All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
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I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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