so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
