May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
