Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Randomize
