Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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