i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
