Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
