dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
