trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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