so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
