im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
